“How’ve you been?”
“Man… busy.”
It’s become the safest answer in America. Busy means I’m productive. Busy means I’m in demand. Busy means I matter. It sounds responsible. Driven. Focused. But if we’re honest, sometimes busy just means we don’t want to slow down long enough to look at what’s actually going on.
I’ve used it plenty. Teaching. Coaching. Parenting. Building ideas. Emails. Practices. Meetings. “I’m slammed right now.” And sometimes that’s completely true. Life does fill up. But sometimes busy is a shield. Because slowing down forces harder questions. Am I actually moving forward? Am I avoiding a tough conversation? Am I distracted on purpose? Am I filling my schedule so I don’t have to face something uncomfortable?
Silence is confrontational. Motion is comforting.
There’s a difference between being productive and being purposeful. You can check 47 boxes in a day and still avoid the one thing that actually matters. Answer emails. Reorganize the spreadsheet. Tweak the lesson plan. Scroll for “research.” Start something new instead of finishing something old. It feels like progress. But sometimes it’s just beautifully disguised procrastination.
I see it in students all the time. They’ll scroll through social media and emails before starting the essay. They’re not lazy. They’re nervous. Busy gives them control. And adults aren’t much different. We stay in motion because motion feels safer than reflection.
The hardest things in life rarely sit neatly on a to-do list. Having the uncomfortable conversation. Admitting you’re burned out. Starting the thing you keep talking about. Letting go of something comfortable but draining. Sitting quietly with your own thoughts. Those don’t come with quick wins or instant feedback. They require stillness. And stillness exposes things.
Somewhere along the way, busy became a badge of honor. We celebrate exhaustion. We glorify full calendars. We apologize for rest. If you say you had a quiet weekend, people look at you like you forgot to be productive. But what if space is where clarity actually lives? You can’t evaluate your direction if you’re constantly sprinting. Even in sports there are timeouts. Even in business there are strategy sessions. Even in school there are pauses. In life, though, we try to play the entire game at full speed.
Lately, when I catch myself saying I’m busy, I’ve started asking a better question: Busy doing what? Am I moving toward something? Or am I moving away from something? There’s a big difference. Busy building creates energy. Busy avoiding quietly drains it.
I’m not anti-work. I believe in discipline. I believe in showing up. I believe in effort. But I also believe this: if busy is your default identity, it might be worth asking what you’re protecting yourself from.
Sometimes the bravest move isn’t doing more.
It’s sitting still long enough to decide what actually matters. Don't forget to breathe, sit, and take time to think and reflect. It is where growth and direction happens.
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